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Not so resolute

Hey my macaroni cronies, welcome to page one of my shiny new blog!  I haven’t done this shit since high school – hard to believe there’s people out there who actually want to read my scrambled brain-eggs, but it can’t be a total figment of my ego because I’ve been asked, by real live actual people, to keep in touch with them on here.  I even got tagged in a meme already, and since it’s a serious breach of netiquette to ignore a tag, this is me responding with alacrity.

Trouble is, the meme was about New Year’s Resolutions, and I don’t do ’em – not never, not nohow.  Yet my Extreme Research compatriot Mei has asked me to post up personal information on the internet for all to see, and I must oblige.  So here, for your delight and edification, are the reasons why I don’t do New Year’s resolutions.

1)      I Fear Failure

Yep, the first reason’s just plain old cowardice.  It’s all very well to harbour intentions of achieving something in the privacy of my own brain-space before blowing it off in favour of a quiet night in with a lasagne for one and a bottle of plonk, but to publicly resolve to achieve something?  That’s just setting up myself and anyone foolish enough to care for big disappointment.

2)      I Failed Already

Here I am, with a first rate training in Performing Arts, living the entertainment dream on the Colmart airwaves with my erudite observational commentary and pronouncements on the price of canned peas.  I don’t exactly have a track record of achieving what I set out to do.

3)      What’s to succeed at, anyway?

And, you know, even if I had made it, if I was a well-known vidcast presenter or a big comedy Voice, isn’t all that just peddling canned peas on a grander scale?  At least the rut I’m stuck in now has an honesty to it.  I look at the paths the people I admire take through their careers and see them all selling out, doing ads, doing gigs they don’t even enjoy anymore, living an empty dream.  Sure, they have money and adulation and security.  But they don’t have any more integrity than I do.  Of course, I don’t have any of that other stuff, either. I think I had a point somewhere, but I lost it…

Oh yeah, that’s why I don’t make resolutions. Please subscribe to this blog for more life-affirming cheery chatter!

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About Elaine

To those who are reading because they know me: Hey Macaronies, pull up a carton and block the aisles awhile – you are welcome here. To those who don’t know me: you know me. You hear my voice every week as you wheel your brats down the aisles, overloading your trollies with overpriced E-numbers, underpriced cotton panties and the tattered shards of my dreams, you shuffling, undead scum of the Earth. Just kidding. Greetings valued customers. My name’s Elaine, and I’ll be pointing you in the direction of the magnificent deals and very special offers available on this blog. If there’s any way I can enhance your reading experience today, please leave a snotty comment and I’ll do my best to feign interest.

10 responses to “Not so resolute

  1. Mei

    This is silly – you say you have failed to be a performer, but you do a performance even on this blog.

    • Jack ⋅

      Yeah, you should find an open mike night and do some stand-up.

      • Elaine ⋅

        I spend all day on an open mike – I don’t think I could even get the energy together to go find another one after after work, especially not when the audience can shout back. They get right through the cracks in my ego’s armour-plating.

  2. Kittyllama ⋅

    Follow your dreams, Elaine! Never give up! XX!!Hugs!!XX

  3. Ash ⋅

    I’ve decided that the best way to deal with dissatisfaction is to be satisfied with it. I think you rather enjoy hating your job, and I have no doubt that the good people of Canberra appreciate what you do.

    • Elaine ⋅

      I do take some perverse pride that I’m the only Greeter in the known world to get fan mail, but at the end of the day, who benefits? The evil empire of Colmart, that’s who.

  4. AK_Hailstorm ⋅

    Work sucks. Destroy resolutions!

  5. parsons_l ⋅

    Potential’s a funny thing, I think. Some people seem to think a career, and by extension a life, is like the class guinea pig, which they used to give you at school to look after over the weekend (maybe they still do). If it’s in the same or better condition when you have to give it back (as in, you die) than when you got it, you’re a success. For guinea pigs, fine; for life, not so much. Maybe integrity is most important. Maybe I need a better metaphor…

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